when good is great

So true. My life has not been full of happy lately, and it should have been. I have a tendency to ignore the big ass signs that are all over my world, right until the point where one of them bashes me in the forehead.

Quoth the purple-haired girl, Nevermore…

I’ve started all of the new medication from the dermatologist. So far so good. I’m hoping it helps because quite frankly, I’m beyond over this shit. I am also beyond over wearing this fucking ankle brace. It’s hot, scratchy, and downright uncomfortable. My three weeks is nearly up, praise ceiling cat.

So far the food changes (we will NOT be calling it a diet!) are going smoothly. The one med can’t be taken with food or milk so that’s putting a wee cramp in my style, but it’s workable. For the most part I really am trying to cut out the drinks with empty calories and I’m watching my portions.

Lancelot had a great suggestion today when we were talking. I had asked him if there was anything special he wanted me to cook this weekend and he said it might be a good opportunity to try a new healthy recipe. Such a good idea. I’d gotten a Mediterranean diet cookbook a few months ago but haven’t really looked at it. That’s on the list for tonight now.

Advertisements

oh the things i want to do!

That was me this morning, in the car, waiting for Lancelot to get done with work. Queen’s “Don’t Stop Me Now” was playing on the stereo. That is just so very much me.

So many ideas right now, things I want to do. I was contemplating a possible new project for my bedroom that would let me display my necklaces better. I’ve also been thinking about making jewelry from some of the pieces I picked up over the weekend. And knit projects with the yarn I got in Ireland.

Notice anything missing? I just really don’t feel like doing any writing. And that’s not good. I’ve got one packet left to finish. I need to buckle down.

In other news, I saw the dermatologist yesterday. I’m starting a new topical ointment and three new pills. I’m not thrilled, but she seems optimistic. Oh, and I need to put some serious effort into losing weight. I told her that I could lose 8lbs by the time I see her in four weeks.

I’ve got to do this. I’ve been suffering with this nonsense for too long. And I know I’ll feel better if there’s a little less of me. I know what I look like doesn’t really matter to Lancelot, but I also know that he wants me healthy.

Step one – no more sugared beverages. Anything sweet must be zero calorie. Fruit juice must be 100% juice and not have any added sugar. Just doing this should help. But I’m also going for more raw fruits and veggies, portion control, and less junk. I can do this.

Once my ankle heals a little more I can get back on the treadmill and that should really help. Right now just isn’t the time for that. But I’ll get there. I have to.

so there I was, up to my ears in pop tops and kitten tears when all of a sudden…

I would like to think that this far into my recovery, 13 years post-diagnosis, that I know a few things about myself. Evidently I still have some shit to learn. For example…

Yesterday morning after breakfast Lancelot rubbed my head while I was laying in his lap, sprawled on the couch, and that is apparently the very best way to put me to sleep ever. He confessed to keeping up with the rubbing for a good 20 minutes because I looked peaceful and it didn’t seem to right to stop and possibly wake me.

On Saturday I mentioned to him that I’d seen a bead expo advertised on Facebook. Not only was he willing to go, but he said it sounded like fun, and he then proceeded to help me pick out treasures. I didn’t know that men did this. I also didn’t know how much I could enjoy that.

I’ve also realized that grad school is maybe not the thing for me right now, at least not like this. I’ve been mulling this over for awhile. In some ways the lack of structure and the freedom to work at my own pace is good, but I really am a person who needs (and thrives on) some structure.

I’m also fairly sure that the two big trips this semester haven’t helped with the school issue. My regular routines have been knocked too far out of kilter and life is just, well, it’s just not grand right now. In all fairness, this last weekend, the eight-month anniversary, was better than grand. Good food, lots of laughter, snuggles, massages, just a great time. I love that boy. But I didn’t do any homework this weekend beyond some reading and I know that made a difference.

Sometimes the best thing you can do is be gentle with yourself.

apparently i am not very good at this these days

In hindsight, having two international trips so close together was not the smartest thing I’ve ever done. In my defense, there was no way around it. Also in my defense, I’m still suffering wicked jet lag.

Today is my eight month anniversary with Lancelot. This is very excellent. My relationship with him is the healthiest I have ever had with a man. Not trying to say it’s perfect, but the bits that aren’t amazing are the sorts of things that aren’t always amazing in any relationship. They’re also the sorts of things that can be remedied. At any rate, eight months of mostly bliss is entirely lovely.

Here are some pictures of the trip to Dubai to amuse you (I hope).

falling apart

I am not well. I spent Friday seeing my regular doctor, having blood drawn, and having an x-ray taken of my ankle. This morning I went and saw an ear, nose, and throat specialist. I’d like to say I know more now than I did, but that’s only partially true. All I know for sure is that I’m ok to fly to Dubai on Wednesday, and I guess that’s the really important thing.

In hindsight, having these two major trips so close together was maybe not an ideal situation. There wasn’t much I could do about it, though, so I’m persevering. I will say that the Ireland trip was so much fun that there’s no way I’d have passed that up. The Dubai trip is purely work, but will hopefully still have some opportunity for fun.

I’m just about ready for the trip, there’s only a little last minute packing to be done. I’m still debating about which knitting project to take with. I’m concerned that the shawl I started on the Ireland trip is too close to being finished. We shall see.

Until then, I will leave you with this lovely little picture I took with my good camera while we were in the gardens on the grounds of Dublin Castle.

i’m baaaack!

No real time for a real post today, I have a paper due by 5pm. Seriously, who the fuck does homework while on holiday? Certainly not me.

Anyway, let me distract you with some photos from the Ireland trip…

Me and Mz K at our conference presentation
Lancelot and I at my birthday dinner
My stunning birthday bracelet
Shawl on a plane
At Dublin Castle
Amazing dinner and Irish dancing at Celtic Nights

We had a fantastic time. So fantastic that we’re planning to go back next year for my birthday.

so there i was, up to my false eyelashes in spent tissues and Hershey’s Kiss wrappers, when suddenly…

Ok, so maybe it wasn’t that bad, but there have been some unfortunate events since last I posted. I’ll try to get through the bullshit quick so we can get on to the good stuff.

The weather here has finally started to warm up, which is good, but our house has a few ice dams on the roof which is not good. Saturday Lancelot and I went to the house to try to help Mom get some of the snow and ice off the roof, no mean feat given that our lot is not flat and the house is multi-story.

We were making decent progress until we got around to the back deck. I shortened the pole on the roof rake and was giving it all I had, which is probably why I slipped on the snow still on the deck. My ankle went under sideways, not how an ankle is supposed to bend. I think I screamed.

The good news is that I just bruised the knobby bone on the side, no major damage. It does look like hell. But Mom took Lancelot to the pharmacy and he got me a brace to wear and that helped quite a bit. Today I’ve been able to walk fine without the brace, though it is in my backpack just in case.

We were still able to go see Captain Marvel with Mom on Sunday morning. Excellent movie; can’t recommend it enough. I love how the Marvel Comics Universe includes so many strong female and minority characters.

In the not great news, my poor silver hair looks green. It’s no bueno. I’m going back tonight and she’s going to put a bright fuchsia over the top of it. I’m excited.

I’ve started packing for Dublin – only five days until we leave!!! I had to upgrade to my big suitcase, which is fine, but my colleague is still convinced she can take everything she needs in carry-on luggage. I think she’s nuts.

Anyway, things are mostly great. Lancelot is amazing and did a wonderful job taking care of me this weekend. Love that man.

Saturday morning we’re going to see my nieces march in the St. Patrick’s Day parade. I’m hoping the weather is good.