when moments last too long

I need a damn vacation in the worst way. Thank dog I only have a few hours left of today and then tomorrow before I hit the open road with Mom. My anxiety has been so crazy bad lately that I swear I can feel my hair growing.

Work has been stressful, totally. August is always hectic and it’s bleeding into September a bit. And while I’m enjoying the new office it is a bit isolated. It is finally all the way setup now, and that’s good.

It’s comfortable and very much me.

Part of my trouble is still physical pain. My shoulder is bothering me and now my hands are giving me problems. I’m fairly sure that the increased knitting isn’t helping those, but it is helping my anxiety so it’s worth it.

I’m still feeling way needier than I know I should. Because of my spectacularly shitty history with the male gender of the human species I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. Like I expect him to just spontaneously decide to leave me.

He’s not going anywhere. Breathe. It’s going to be alright. He loves me.

He told me to repeat that to myself when I start to get worked up. That was quite possibly the most helpful thing anyone has said all day.

Tomorrow night he’s coming to have dinner at the house. I’m going to cook for us and he’ll get to meet Mom and the boys. I’m ridiculously excited about this.

To help with the excitement I’m eating cookies. If you’ll excuse me I need to go finish the package.

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