it’s a process, you know this…

It’s been awhile since I’ve dealt with the mania thing. I can’t remember how long because, let’s face it, I couldn’t reliably tell you what I ate for dinner last night. The last suicide attempt turned portions of my brains into scrambled eggs. But I digress.

I remember enough to know what I’m up against. This is a slippery slope I’m on right now. If I come down too fast I’ll go down too far and that, in and of itself, is just as dangerous.

Control and balance are the names of this game. Slow and steady will win the race and save my life. But holy fuckballs do I hate to slow down.

I’m trying to focus what little brain power I have right now on taking care of myself. I’m eating, listening to music, trying to knit, and giving myself permission to have down-time. In that vein I will not be posting again until Monday. Tomorrow will be spent taking a Mental Health Holiday. I plan to come back with pictures.

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