sometimes you just have to kick your own ass

There are those days, the ones where you want to just throw in the towel and surrender. You feel like you’ve been beat down one too many times and there’s just no fight left. You don’t see how you can get back up again.

You can. I know you can. You are the storm.

I didn’t see Lancelot yesterday morning because I had an early meeting but we talked at lunch and something in that conversation, I honestly don’t know what precisely, helped me realize that the balance in my world is off. Or was. Once I identified that I started taking back my control.

Last night when I got home I managed to:

  • Deal with a basket of clean laundry
  • Dust my bedroom and make a few changes, including disposing of the very last thing my first husband had ever given me
  • Threw away a dead plant that had been hanging in the window far too long
  • Water the still living plants
  • Clean out my nightstand
  • Take all of the random bits from my room that belong in the basement to the basement
  • Fill my pill trays for the next two weeks
  • Pick out outfits and jewelry for the rest of the week
  • Do a little knitting
  • And enjoy an amazing spaghetti dinner that Mom made

Lest you think this looks like a manic fit, let me assure you that it wasn’t. I did all of this over the span of about four hours and took breaks between. And most of it wasn’t super time consuming, it really just needed to be done.

This morning I got up, did some knitting (damn shawl is so close!!!), watched the news and swore at that overly cheerful young weather man. We’re expecting another 6 – 9″ of snow overnight. I am not amused.

So I did the normal Midwesterner thing and filled up the gas tank this morning and that gave me an opportunity to take care of another sore spot – the car. I’ve needed to empty the garbage bag for weeks now. I did that while the tank was filling and I got the inside of the car tidied up. I also took a minute to wipe off my back-up camera. I keep an old wash cloth in the car just for that purpose.

Anyway, got to see my Lancelot sweetie this morning which was lovely. Hugs from my bear are always good. Hugs in general are just good medicine.

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