fits and starts that neither fit nor start anything

Sometimes life is a bit much to handle. This is one of those times. I’m plodding along, and I can tell I’m just plodding. But I’m still plodding in a forward direction so I’m still calling it a win.

Yesterday after work I went and met with my psych doc. She had offered to sit down with me and go over my charts so as to help pull relevant bits of fact for my memoir. I ended up staying in her office for almost an hour and a half. It was pretty damn awesome. She had notes about things I had completely forgotten and I now have a complete timeline of my illness. I’ve got three full pages worth of notes to work in. I’m up to 157 pages and that pleases me immensely.

I’m also keeping track of ideas I don’t want to lose. I use a program called Google Keep, in part because there’s an app for the phone and I can get to it on my laptop. That’s also the program I use to set reminders about meds and other things I don’t want to forget. And it’s free.

I know that part of what I’m dealing with right now is the Seasonal Affective Disorder. We still have a ridiculous amount of snow on the ground and it’s been below freezing for I can’t remember how long. And Daylight Saving Time is this weekend which always fucks me up.

I think the rest of my difficulties right now are tied to the trip and the presentation. My co-worker and I were supposed to practice today but she’s got a sick kid. We only get 25 minutes and that scares the hell out of me.

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