chemistry experiment

I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder in 2006, shortly before I turned 30. I’ve been treating it, and the raging anxiety, with medication and therapy for the last 13 years. Life with mental illness very often involves being a chemistry experiment.

One of the meds I take, Lithium, causes nasty tremors. Over the last few months it’s gotten bad enough that eating with a fork has become a risk prospect. And my handwriting is totally not even readable. It’s terrible. But the Lithium very literally is what keeps me sane.


I talked to my doc about it the last time I saw her and she put me on a new  med. It’s used to control blood pressure, which I don’t have issues with, by slowing the heart rate. I got up to a therapeutic dose, thought it was helping, and then CRASH.

I was so tired all the time, I had no energy, and walking from my car to the office left me exhausted. Lancelot finally said something and I agreed to call the doc.

Fortunately she said I could quit immediately and should see an improvement, like right about now. And I am.

As much as I hate having to be a chemistry project I know how important it is. Meds don’t always work like they should, body and brain chemistry change, new advances in science are made. Maybe one day they’ll come up with a single pill that will guaranteed take care of this nonsense. Until then…

8 thoughts on “chemistry experiment”

  1. I totally feel like a science experiment at times; luckily my combo of lamictal and seroquel works for me with modest weight gain as my only side effect. I’ve never been on lithium, but it has some serious side effects from what I’ve read. The fact that a salt can treat so many people with bipolar is insane to me lol but it’s truly a miracle drug to some. Hope your experiment is successful soon xox


  2. I’m sorry you have to be a chemistry experiment too. I hope you find something that works without giving you tremors. I wish they could come up with the cause and a cure. I just started on Celexa for anxiety/depression this last month. I don’t like how I feel but it’s better than before. Crazy this stuff! The fatigue is unrelenting so I empathize. Hang on.

    Liked by 1 person

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