I have so much I want to write about, pictures to share, but there’s not enough time while I’m awake and kicking.
The time off with Lancelot was awesome. We cooked good food together, went to an art museum, saw the new Spiderman movie, and just generally enjoyed each other’s company.
I also blocked two shawls (that I got pictures of), got some beautiful new jewelry, and managed to get a few projects taken care of – like finishing a professional development course for work.
Right now I’m feeling very fortunate to be in good health, to have a job I love, a roof over my head, and food to eat. I know that there are a whole lot of other folks who are less fortunate, through no fault of their own.
Be kind to one another, and remember that you have no idea what battles your fellow person is fighting.
I got my hair done last night and this picture doesn’t totally do it justice. The cut is the same, it always is, but the front is now a silver-lilac color. This is what I had actually wanted last month. I love it, and Lancelot seems to approve.
I’ve made some progress with things, which is good. I’m mostly caught up on laundry, the bed got made this morning, I’ve been finding bits I need to take with for my trip, I finished one of my school books this morning, and I’ve been emailing with my mentor about ideas I’m having for the memoir. All good stuff.
The weather is still (trying to) kick my ass. This morning I decided that I am well and truly over this bullshit. No leggings or tights under my jeans, no boots, no extra layers. I’m wearing flats with NO SOCKS because I am a REBEL. I’m also wearing the utterly gorgeous tree of life necklace Lancelot got me.
I’m hoping that today is productive at work. I was out yesterday because of the weather and shot nerves, something that is happening entirely too often because of snow storms. I’ll kick some ass and take some names today to make up for it.
I’ll leave you with a picture of my beverage cup this morning. I stopped and got a chai latte at my favorite local coffee shop.
I feel the need to try not to vent, contrary to what the title of this post is going to suggest. Here goes…
My little Garth decided to start the morning by doing acrobatics on top of the kitchen cupboards. He’s a little nutty like that.
That was the original manuscript on the left and the new/revised on the right. I went through the new one last night and marked where I’d added new material and made changes to the old stuff. It took forever. Tonight I’ll start writing my first critical essay. Yikes.
Today’s knit thing… It’s purple, white, and grey and it kind of looks like bunting. It was supposed to be symmetrical but since I can’t be bothered to pay attention to yardage requirements it’s not. But it works. And DAMN do I look good today.
Looking good today is nice because I picked L up from work this morning. We’re having dangerously cold weather and vicious winds so he hasn’t been waiting for the bus but has been getting an Uber home, which is an unnecessary expense. I told him I’m happy to give him rides when it’s like this and all I charge is a few kisses.
This was from Saturday but aren’t we just adorable together?
I’m still trying to figure out how to attack the goals. I’ve added a few more craft projects but that was primarily because I’ve already crossed two things off that list. I’m really kind of excited about all of this. Nothing like the smell of freshly crossed off “to do” items in the morning.
It’s a whole 24F here right now and I don’t think the high temp for the day is much higher. Over the weekend we got 6 or so inches of snow. This is Winter, and winter in the Midwest frequently sucks. So I’m going to combat the suck with some lovely handknits.
The plus side of Lancelot working overtime Friday night was that Mom and I went shopping together. I got a few things for my nieces for Christmas and got myself some solid color, long sleeved T-shirts. I find these to be ideal for showing off knit shawls.
That was actually taken on Friday. Not only was I sporting a shawl I knit but also a beautiful shield brooch Lancelot got me in Weston as well as a pair of Josephine knot earrings I got in Branson. Beautiful outfit all the way around.
This morning it’s navy blue with a different shawl. Today is also blue jeans and knock-off UGG boots because of the intense cold and the snow.
My plan is to wear something I’ve knit every day this week and post a picture. It’s not like I’ve got a shortage of choices. I have at least one I can think of that I haven’t even worn yet, and I know that because it still needs the ends woven in.
I took that picture the morning I left for India. I was petrified. All of the potentially horrible things that could happen while I was gone just kept swirling through my head. I think maybe you can see the sheer terror on my face.
But not on Lancelot. He’s grinning like a fool. He (and everyone else in all honesty) knew that I was capable of doing this and doing it well.
Everyone but me.
One of the most cruel jokes the mental brain plays on us is stripping away our confidence in ourselves, making us feel that we aren’t deserving or capable. But one of the greatest gifts it’s given me is empathy for others and the ability to be a champion for someone.
Life is not always perfect, and the world is not always kind, but I will strive to enjoy what I have as long as I have it.
I had this amazing therapist that I used to refer to as T-Bone. I saw him for quite a few years. He was a psychologist, so a PhD, but he dropped near as many f-bombs as me during a session. He was this mountain of a man, tall with a big white beard, long ponytail, and typically wore hiking boots and flannel shirts. He also played fierce guitar.
He left the practice to take a different job in another state and the day he left it took everything I had to keep my shit together. I knit him a hat as a going away present. He was well and truly a surrogate father for me when my dad died in 2012.
I transitioned to seeing a female therapist in the same practice, someone I had worked with during DBT. We have an amazing relationship now that I wouldn’t trade for anything. Literally, anything.
She told me a month or so ago that T-Bone was coming back. I don’t know the circumstances of his return, just that he was not only returning to the area but specifically to the practice. The first thing I said to her was that I’d like to see him, to say hello, but I’m not leaving her care. And I meant that.
Fast forward to yesterday… I’m sitting in the waiting room to see my doc (also in the same practice) and this young man comes in and says he’s got an appointment with T-Bone. I almost cried. And then T-Bone walked past the reception window, looked right at me, smiled and waved. And I almost cried again.
The visit with the doc was good. She agreed that I look and sound better. No changes for a week, we’ll re-evaluate next Friday.
I also asked her to do me a favor and tell T-Bone that I’m still fighting the good fight. She said that since I had given permission she’d be happy to do that.
It’s been a busy summer. We had a great time at the conference. There was a lot to learn and a lot of fun to be had. We aren’t going to talk about the massive quantities of vodka at the carnival or the kiss from the cute Southern fella.
But speaking of men, I’m giving up again for awhile. I tried talking to someone new and it was just really awful. What’s so hard to understand about women being more than sex objects? FFS. All I’m out is some time but still.