Alright, that title is just kind of goofy because in truth there are a lot of things I’m proud of. Right now though, there are some very recent and pretty specific things I’m proud of. For one, I am now done with the “hard core” portions of the dental work I needed and I was able to do these last two sessions with no sedatives, no pain killers, no numbing agents, NOTHING. The work they were doing was such that none of those were medically necessary and because I felt like I had some degree of control they weren’t psychologically necessary either. YAY!
Friday I was able to spend at the bead store re-learning a technique. I spent almost the entire day there just working and visiting. And making friends. That part was almost better than anything else. I was invited to join their official club and to participate in a class on Sunday.
I made one of them at the shop with my teachers looking on and then did the other one on Saturday, swearing the whole time. But I did it and they look great and I am seriously fucking proud of them.
That is from the class on Sunday. It’s a needle felted brooch that uses zipper for the outlining and is then embellished with beads and charms. I still need to sew the top to the bottom and attach the pin back. That project was so much fun that I bought a kit to be able to make more. I’ve done needle felting before but taking this class makes me feel much more confident moving forward.
I did also get a shawl finished this weekend. It’s for me and it’s one of those “non-pattern” things. The important part about this piece is that I’ve had the yarn for 16 years. It was a gift from some amazing friends as a way to encourage me to get back to feeling better after I was diagnosed.
This may well be the most unusual title I’ve ever used, but probably not. And yes, as always, there’s a story here. Picture if you will – two adults looking for love but not sure they’ll find it. One has a “standard” schedule and the other works overnight. They want to go on a first date, but how does one accommodate such vastly different schedules?
You go for breakfast and get waffles that might as well be dessert and keep you looking over your shoulder for Wilfred Brimley to pop up and start talking about the high price of “diabeeetus” supplies.
And that’s what we did. Lancelot and I had that first date and it was the very last first date I have had. That makes me happy.
That is JB. When I told Lancelot his name I got “the eyebrow,” presumably because those are Lancelot’s real initials. But in this case it’s the initials for Junior Bear. He’s utterly precious.
We’ve already done our Valentine’s Day stuff, mostly anyway (damn you FedEx!!) because we did want to go out for a nice dinner but did not want to deal with many MANY other people who also wanted to go out. Today will hopefully be fairly laid back and chill, at least as much as is possible while working from home.
Part of yesterday was spent doing creative things. L worked on some LEGO kits and I made jewelry. The flower-esque earrings were from a pattern and the skull necklace and earrings were all me. The more I do this kind of jewelry making the more I remember how much I enjoy doing it.
I am still knitting, though right now I’ve mostly been working on one of the charity scarves. Those are super important to me but do not make for the most exciting photos.
There’s kind of a long story that goes with the title of today’s post, just bear with me.
Piece one – I am a suicide survivor. It’s been a haul to get to where I am, but I have and I’m proud of my fight to get better. I did some less than great things along the way sometimes but I’m working on making up for it.
Piece two – I am a huge Dropkick Murphys fan. One of my very favorite songs of theirs is “Paying my Way.” The lyrics and the beat, it just speaks to my experiences.
Piece three – Lancelot watches a lot of professional wrestling and MMA competitions where the competitors will have specific music playing when they walk out. It’s usually something personal to them in some way, helps get them pumped up. The wrestler I enjoy most is a guy who goes by CM Punk and he comes out to “Cult of Personality.”
Ok, so all of this to say that right now “Paying my Way” is my walk-out song for when I feel like it’s time to kick a little ass, and sometimes just when I need to give myself a little kick in the ass.
I’ve decided that I want to try to get back into doing more with beads, in part because I have a lot of supplies still. I spent a good part of the weekend reorganizing my craft area to make it easier to find things so that I can hopefully stop buying things I already had at home. Not that I’ve ever actually done that…
This is a kit that I purchased up in Stillwater, MN when Lancelot and I went last summer. It’s the “Cable it Up” pattern and it’s a completely reversible cabled scarf knit with chunky yarn. I love it.