killing time, putting in my time, nothing but time on my hands

I finally got a call from the oncologist’s office on Friday, but not the call I wanted. The nurse was letting me know that the doc I was scheduled to see was going on a leave of absence and they’re bumping my appointment from Thursday to Friday. Not horrible, but still.

Friday night I did get to go take a blown glass ornament class which was beyond amazing.

the ones on the far left were mine

I managed to get 12 ornaments successfully made and had a hell of a lot of fun doing it.

Yesterday I finished putting together my fused glass 3D Christmas tree.

amazing, yes?

And I finished a shawl I’ve been working on that I had planned to wear to a play I was going to head out to see today.

I get by with a little help from Garth

But then this morning was the time change and I got up and started doing stuff and that was great but when it came time to get ready to head out I just couldn’t do it. I was honestly afraid to leave the house. While this isn’t unheard of for me, it sure as hell hasn’t happened in a good long time. Rather than beat myself up I decided to just be gentle and take care of myself today.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to see what other appropriate mischief I can get myself into while wearing pjs.

nothing to see here, keep moving

Still no call from the oncologist’s office about an earlier appointment. I’m just sort of resigned to the fact that I won’t get in before November 9th. And you know what? That’s ok. I haven’t had any more attacks or flares or whatever the hell you want to call the pain that this damn thing causes when it decides to be a problem. Totally ok.

I’m going about the business of living, because I am alive and because this is what I do. One of my mantras is “fall down seven times, get up eight.” I just don’t know how to quit.

I rock the panda thing, yo

We had an amazing Halloween party at work. My panda partner in crime and I had matching panda pajama costumes and our hallway won the decorating contest. Because honestly, what rocks harder than pandas with Canvas emblems on their butts?

I am trying to prepare for what I think is an inevitable surgery. Mom and I talked last night and nearly everything I would need access to is on the top floor of the house – except an ample supply of knitting projects. So I picked out enough yarn for 5 (6 maybe?) projects last night along with the necessary patterns. Tonight I’ll gather the needles and notions I need for each and get them packaged up for myself. I do like a good plan.

I have a finished shawl at home right now that needs to be blocked. I’m hoping to get that done this weekend as well as the glass tree. Keeping myself occupied with creative projects definitely helps keep my mind off of all the worst-case scenarios. And the total bonus is that I’ll end up with all kinds of pretty bits. Winner, winner, chicken friend steak dinner.

let me distract all of us with some pictures, eh?

I still haven’t heard anything from the oncologist so Mom has been doing her best to keep me busy. She’s done a great job. And so have the boys. Nothing like little balls of fluff to keep you distracted.

handsome orange kitties sleeping on my bed
baton competition on Saturday meant lots of knitting time for me between the girls’ performances
we must check out this counter mama, much important
“but moooooom! we gotta chase this bug!”
3D fused glass tree, some assembly required (and still needed)
pumpkin carving
Yoda Cat
weirdest aunt ever

This afternoon I have an appointment with my therapist which is good. I just wish I would hear something soon. As Tom Petty once said, the waiting is the hardest part.

the update that is not actually an update

I had really, really, REALLY hoped by now to have something to tell you. Well, that’s not entirely true. By this pointed I myself wanted to know something about what’s going on.

But I don’t. And it’s kind of killing me.

All I know is that I have already had most (all maybe?) of the preliminary tests the oncologist would want before s/he sees me so that will help, and that I’m at the very top of the cancellation list. They know that I’m roughly 20 minutes from their office and ready to leave with as little as 5 minutes notice.

I’ve spent most of this week trying to make sure that when the call comes in, if I do need to jump that quick, that I’m ready for it. I don’t want to leave my teammates in the lurch. I have the luxury of some lead time so I want to be as prepared as humanly possible.

I’m keeping myself busy at home, too. I have another shawl I’m working on and I brought home the pieces for a 3D fused glass Christmas tree on Wednesday so I need to start getting that assembled. In all honesty, I have enough creative/craft materials already at home that I could occupy myself until roughly the coming of the Zombie Apocalypse.

rest for the wicked

I haven’t been online much lately, and truth be told, I’m enjoying it. I can’t remember when I last logged on to Facebook and I know it’s been awhile since I was on here. I’ve been trying to spend time actually doing things that I enjoy and that aren’t just sucking up my free time.

Writing is an enjoyable activity, but life has been just a bit much lately. The weather is still mostly shit and while the physical therapy is helping, it hurts like hell. So I’ve been mostly just hanging out with Mom and knitting.

The babies have been keeping me distracted.

Sometimes at night if I’m lucky I’ll end up with one of them snuggled in bed with me. Nothing quite as sweet as kitten lovies.

This shawl wasn’t much of a pattern, just a two-row repeat, but the yarn is incredibly pretty. I received a rather last minute invite to a wedding for the coming weekend and this is going to look great with the dress I found to wear.

Tomorrow night I’m going to a fused glass class and I’m really looking forward to it. I haven’t really done anything with glass since March. The project is a Christmas tree that will haveĀ  LED lights. Super cool.

an update of sorts

Since the last time I visited with y’all I’ve had a slumber party with the nieces, gone for manicures with the girls and let the older niece pick out my colors, done a little shopping, changed some of the hardware in my bathroom, and taken an alcohol ink class. Oh, and I finished the one shawl.

So, YAY!

Eric hanging out inside a Panera bag during breakfast
You truly cannot go wrong letting a 9 year old fashionista pick out the colors for your manicure
Eric modeling with the nearly finished shawl
Alcohol ink projects – peacock painting on Yupo paper, purple rose, bluebells, and (alleged) pink lily, and then a wild drip art piece – all of those on 4″ white ceramic tile (click to see a huge image)

Quite possibly the most exciting is that since the last time I bothered to weigh myself I’ve lost 3lbs. Small victory, but still.

I’m still working to find my groove and figure out what it is that makes me really happy so that I can make sure to do more of that, whatever “that” is.

But as I sit here with a wild kitten under my desk playing soccer with his ping-pong ball and head-butting me every time he goes by my legs, I have to wonder if maybe hanging out with the fluffy kids might just be what makes me happiest of all when it comes to a leisure time activity.

weekly goals

I’m a firm believer in goals and that setting goals helps me achieve things. Unfortunately I’ve let my practice slip recently. (earlier this year is still “recently” right?) So I’m going to push myself to get back into that practice. In previous iterations I set myself weekly goals that followed several themes. I’m not sure that really serves me now like it once did, so I’m going to change this up a little. (my house, my rules)

One of the primary reasons I’ve always shared my goals is the whole accountability thing. They say that if you tell someone you intend to do something, you’re more likely to actually do it. I have no idea who “they” are but they seem to be right quite a lot. So here goes…

By the end of September, I will:

  • Finish the triangle shawl I’m knitting
  • Finish the peacock feather shawl I’m knitting
  • Spend at least one hour per week writing
  • Formulate a plan to implement the dietary changes my psych doc suggested

Interestingly enough, the diet thing has little to nothing to do with my mental health. I have a skin condition that I’ve had surgery for but it’s moved. Where it’s now located isn’t really fit for a successful surgical intervention but there’s some indications that a lower carb diet is helpful. The diet should at the very least help me lose weight and there’s some indications that skinny people don’t deal with this nonsense near as much as us chubby chickies.

On the plus side, I can eat my body weight in real whipped cream on this diet, so I’ve got that going for me.

 

let me recap for you

I’ve been meaning to do this for, well, about a week now. These are some of the photo highlights from my vacation.

“helping”
finished project
Garth, aka “white toes”
crazy yummy
Eric the Red
I don’t do “normal”
Peacock jewelry for Wendy
Pretty new necklace for me

It was great to have time to just hang out. I finished 3 wash cloths, a shawl, a pot holder, the jewelry you see here plus some other stuff, whipped up a fresh batch of facial scrub, and a bunch of other creative bits. I needed that to recharge.

It’s been good being back at work this week though. I do miss my routines when I’m gone from the office for too long. Plus I have a ton of friends at work. Maybe next time I won’t go so long between breaks.