not enough coffee

Top: Me and Lancelot before we went to dinner on my birthday
Middle Left: Eric basking in the sun
Middle Center: Garth being a goof
Middle Right: The finished cat cross-stitch
Bottom Left: A collection of 5 mini LEGO mosaic things I did yesterday
Bottom Center: Pippy giving her duck a kiss
Bottom Right: Gifts from Lancelot for my birthday

I am delighted to report that things have been pretty damn good. We did have to take Garth to the vet on Monday, poor lil guy apparently has allergies on top of his asthma, but he’s doing a lot better now. Otherwise it’s been a good week. Lancelot made sure to appropriately spoil me for my birthday, my work BFF had tiramisu delivered to the house, and my mom got me a gift certificate to my favorite garden center.

Work has been going well. I managed to pull together a workshop in a little less than four days and it actually went smoothly. And in general I’ve just been super productive with work stuff lately, which is always good. Last week I managed to complete two short certificates and get some significant work done on projects I’ve been tasked with. Productivity is good.

I’m also making really good progress with completing creative projects and other bits on my lists. I need to frame the cat cross-stitch, but it’s done and ready for that step. And the little LEGO mosaic things are fun. I decided that LEGO does not count as craft supplies, but I’m still trying not to buy big kits but rather parts that I can use to make my own original creations. I’m thinking my next adventure might me to see if I can make a picture frame and embellish it with dots.

another trip around the sun

Top: Eric demonstrating proper nap positioning
Middle Left: Corned beef, potatoes, and cabbage with bacon AKA St. Patrick’s Day dinner
Middle Center: Pippy is often a dirty puppy and requires a bath, this time from Garth (he kept at it for a solid 5 minutes)
Middle Right: Coconut Cocoa tea sweetened with Chocolate Creamed Honey is like nectar from the gods
Bottom Left: The most beautiful little glass lamp I picked up with shopping with my BFF KB on Wednesday
Bottom Center: Me on St. Patrick’s Day; I was wearing my shirt from the Dropkick Murphys concert
Bottom Right: I was in the mood for something different yesterday and ended up using a white 32 stud square base plate and a bunch of LEGO dots

Tomorrow is my 26th annual celebration of my 21st birthday, which in plain English means that I’ll turn 47 tomorrow. I’m not quite sure why people, women especially, get so twisted about getting older. I see it as a gift, something to be proud of. I’ve gone through a whole lot of hell to get where I am today, the fact that I’ve made it this far is nothing short of a miracle. I try very hard not to take any of it for granted anymore.

I was able to get in to see the dermatologist last Monday and she’s messed with my medications and that seems to be helping. The GP is happy with how one of the meds she’s prescribed is working, so that’s also good. My health is a huge priority these days.

Part of my health is my mental health, and I spent a good amount of time taking care of that last week as well. I took Wednesday off work to hang out with KB, which involved lunch and antique shopping. We had an amazing time and that’s when I found that stunning little lamp. It looks perfect in my home office. I also took Friday off as my normal “one Friday every month off” mental health holiday. I spent the day doing random stuff in the kitchen and hanging out with Lancelot. We made corned beef, potatoes, and cabbage with bacon for dinner and then watched the livestream of the Dropkick Murphys concert. Not quite as fabulous as seeing them live, but the seats were a lot more comfortable.

All in all it was a super relaxing weekend and I got a ton of stuff done. I would say that I feel recharged and ready to take on the week, but I’ve already gone through my work email so I’m fully aware of what’s coming in the next few days, so…

fall down seven times, get up eight

Top: Eric and Garth
Middle Left: Lancelot took me to see Les Miserables yesterday for my birthday
Middle Center: Homemade Kung Pao Chicken
Middle Right: Current crochet project – Meadow Lace Shrug
Bottom Left: Garth and Dog Blossom
Bottom Center: A flowering cactus a friend gave me several years ago
Bottom Right: One of my drawings

It’s been a week. I’ve been dealing with a fairly substantial HS flare up, so bad that I called Friday and got an emergency appointment to see the dermatologist this afternoon. I don’t know if I need another light treatment or different medication or what, but this is quite possibly the worst it’s been since I had surgery for it. Hopefully she can come up with something.

I did have a really good appointment with my psych doc last week. I’m doing well enough these days that she’s letting me try to taper my anxiety medication some. I’ve been taking 1500mg of Gabapentin for several years now; 600 in the morning and then 900 at night. Given how well I’ve been doing without the Lithium she feels that we can start to look at the other medications I take, especially since that could be part of why I’m having so much trouble losing weight. I’ve dropped one of the mornings pills so that puts me at 300 and then still 900 at night. Once this feels stable I can cut back to 600 at night. I plan to take this slow. I also know that the Gabapentin is fairly fast acting so if something is causing me too much anxiety I can take one and it’ll kick in within about 30 minutes.

goals update

I have continued to do a drawing every day, which is kind of separate from my original goals, but still. I’ve been doing really well with everything I think. I continue to look at the clothes I already own with a more critical/creative eye and try to find ways to make them feel new by combining them differently and with different accessories. I’ve also been looking at ways to use the materials I have on hand for my creative projects – in particular with glass bottles and jars that have ended up in the recycle bin. That’s a treasure trove right there.

that Monday morning feeling

Left: Lancelot and I at our local tea shop on Saturday
Top Center: Garth and Eric lounging in the sunroom
Top Right: Five days worth of breakfast goodness
Middle Center: The Sea Dragon Shawl is finished
Middle Right: Dog Blossom
Bottom Center: Lego Dried Flower kit, hanging on my home office door
Bottom Right: One of my #the100dayproject drawings

Life around here has been pretty damn good lately. I’ve made progress with projects, like finishing the Sea Dragon Shawl, and we’ve also done a fair amount around the house. I officially have enough house plants now that I’m going to see if I can’t get this place designated as a tropical rainforest. And I’m more than halfway through my third book of the year. Progress is a beautiful thing.

We are coming into a busy time of year at work but I find that exciting. Allegedly our new office space will be ready by the end of the semester. Allegedly. So I am cautiously optimistic about having my own space on campus again, and that means another space to decorate and make into “home away from home.” I definitely want to do that, but with a serious budget – meaning I don’t plan to spend a lot to do it.

In spite of work keeping me busy I do still enjoy it. The challenges are just a little different every day and I get to interact with a wide range of people from different cultures and backgrounds who are passionate about a whole host of subjects. It’s that exposure to people who have had experiences very far removed from my own that keep the job, and I would argue life, interesting.

I have to admit that I wasn’t sure if I had it in me to do #the100dayproject, but I seem to be sticking with it pretty well. Drawing is one of things I identified on my list of 23 Things to Do More Of in 2023 so it really is a perfect fit. I’m trying to get myself to be brave and try drawing different things, and hopefully in the process to get my internal critic to just STFU. Practice makes perfect and honestly all I’m really going for here is a comfort level that’s higher than where I am today.

short weeks, long weekends, and good food

Last week I took one of my Mental Health Holidays on Friday. I like to schedule myself one Friday off every month just to have a day to myself. Often Lancelot and I will go do something fun that day, like visit the museum or go shopping, or we just relax. This time I took advantage of the day by getting all of the grocery shopping done, making a birthday gift for a friend, and then L and I went and had our combo Date Night and Valentine’s Day dinner at one of our favorite restaurants.

Left: Eric stretched out in my lap one morning
Top Center: L and I the night of our dinner out
Top Right: The beaded flower ornament for N’s birthday
Middle Center: Pizza Dim Sum
Middle Right: The Sea Dragon Shawl
Bottom Center: Garth pretending to be angelic
Bottom Right: Fingerless mitts, aka Frankenmitts, for my friend K

The Pizza Dim Sum came from an idea K shared with me, something she found on Facebook I think. I took a can of refrigerated biscuits and smooshed them kind of flat, put a few fresh mozzarella pearls, a cut up cherry tomato, and a bit of fresh torn basil inside, and then smooshed the top shut. I baked them on a cookie sheet at 375 for about 20 minutes. Incredibly easy and delicious. Lancelot did his with a little pizza sauce, the same cheese, and a little sliced pepperoni.

goals update

I am very pleased to report that I have finished the first book of the year and have made a decent dent in the second. My guess is that I’ll end up surpassing my goal of reading four this year, and that makes me very happy indeed. I have one more book in this trilogy to finish, two for another trilogy I had started last year, another full trilogy I have yet to start, plus a whole host of others just waiting their turn.

I’m also doing really well with the professional certificate goal. I haven’t heard back about the first course for this year, but my part should be done. I’m also now up to the point of turning in the 4th assignment (of 5 total) in the next course. And I spent a little time last week looking at what else is available on that platform and bookmarking possible options for my next course. I’m also guessing that I will well and truly surpass this goal.

And no new craft supplies, even though I continue to make things. I’m looking at what I have on hand with a critical eye and figuring out how to make the most of what’s there. This weekend I realized that I needed to shuffle the plants around again because some of them were outgrowing their space on the shelves, and the only way to really achieve that was to hang a few more. I had macramé cord and some metal rings and set about to make something. I ended up with two very basic, but very functional, plant hangers. Go me!

Overall I would say that I’m feeling very good about how my goals are going this year. I’m making excellent progress and that motivates me to make even more progress. It’s truly a win/win situation.

so there I was, hip deep in jars of jam, thinking I had seen the worst of it, when suddenly…

I spent some time this weekend straightening up and cleaning out both refrigerators, their attached freezers, the big deep freeze, and the pantry. There were some things that were, unfortunately, well past their primed and needed to be escorted off the premises. Not many things, but still. I also discovered some “lost treasures.” If Lancelot were here he would tell you that I am not allowed to buy any more butter, frozen vegetables, sausages, or jams/jellies. And for the love of all that is holy, don’t mention pickles.

But it needed to be done and I’m glad I did it. I feel very fortunate to have the problem of too much food in the house as opposed to not enough. We make a monthly donation to the local food bank as well as random donations throughout the year to other non-profit organizations that focus on food insecurity. It’s something I feel passionate about.

goals update

I feel like I’m doing quite well with my goals right now. My spending has been limited to food and some online course work, we’ve been trying to incorporate more fruits/veggies/whole grains into our diets, and I’ve completed 16 creative projects so far this month. I’m also about half-way through the book I’m reading. I’ve been taking it with me on the days I work on campus and reading while I eat my lunch.

Some of these tie in with my list of “23 things” as well, like finding healthier ways to eat and paying it forward. I’ve also really been trying to get creative with using the stuff I have on hand. We recycle glass, but have to do that separately because the city won’t collect it, so I’ve been trying to think about how I could use some of the various jars and bottles currently in the bin.

And I’m actively working on finishing another professional certificate, I’m almost done with the first one for this year. I’ve talked to my boss about buying a subscription to this service as my “professional development expense” for the year instead of sending me to a conference. I get a lot more out of this kind of experience.

Top Left: Eric has taken to settling down on my chest in the evening while I watch TV. He purrs so loud that Lancelot can hear him from his chair.
Top Right: It’s cold enough here that I’m breaking out the knit shawls
Middle Right: Blackberry Hoisin Pork Tenderloin, Stir Fry Noodles with Cabbage and Carrots, and a Blackberry, Pineapple, and Elderflower Mocktail
Lower Left: Cable it Up scarf I’m making for my friend W
Lower Center: Pippy has been singing to her ducky a lot lately
Lower Right: Pippy and Eric playing under the end of the bed. Pip was nibbling Eric’s tummy.

please, just don’t ask for that

Top Left: Garth, mid yawn
Top Right: Amazing Shrimp Pad Thai that Lancelot made us for dinner last night
Middle Right: The completed Granny Vest
Bottom Left: Completed crocodile stitch flower
Bottom Center: I’ve got paperwhites blooming again
Bottom Right: Home made dryer sheets

It’s been another busy week around here, but a good week. The boys had their annual vet visit and everything was good. Garth did his usual trick of trying to hide inside the trash compartment. They both got a clean bill of health.

Lancelot has continued to amaze me in the kitchen. The pad thai last night was absolutely to die for, better than I’ve had at a restaurant. He continues to amaze me, and himself I think. I’m truly a lucky girl.

The home made dryer sheets are an experiment, and I’m almost excited enough about them to want to do a load of laundry. Almost. This is born out of my desire to create less waste and not spend so damn much money on something I can make myself. I had all of the components already on hand and the setup was minimal, basically just the time it took to cut one of L’s old t-shirts into square-ish chunks and then measure my few ingredients. I’ll be sure to let y’all know next week how it goes.

I’m really rather excited about the paperwhites. Mom had gotten me a kit before Christmas so I had little flowers over the holiday. I went to one of the garden centers right after Christmas and got another set and those are what is blooming now. I have even higher hopes for this batch. And the fragrance in the sunroom right now is heavenly. We’ve had some nasty, gloomy weather lately and the flowers are definitely helping with that.

I’m also extremely pleased with how the vest turned out, so pleased that I posted pictures of it on Facebook. (which I should know by now is a mistake) Within an hour I received a message from a “friend” that contained a pattern and the message, “I need you to make two of these for my great-granddaughters. I’ll buy the yarn and pay you for your time. I’d be forever grateful!”

Let’s have a small chat about why I don’t do commission work, m’kay?

I’m pretty fucking picky about the things I make. I prefer to work with materials that I’ve selected, particularly when it comes to yarn-related projects. Projects for charity are an exception – those are made with yarn that I know is both soft and can withstand being thrown in a washer and dryer.

My time is extremely valuable to me so I prefer to spend it doing things that bring me joy. I have a full time job where I earn enough money to meet my financial needs, I’m fortunate enough to not need to supplement that income. So I don’t. I do not ever sell the things I make. I have done that in the past and found the entire process to be woefully soul sucking.

Let’s ignore the fact that knitting or crocheting an item requires TIME and loads of it. No, let’s not ignore that. It takes a considerable amount of time to create something with sticks and string and have it turn out well. It’s an art form. I don’t create art to sell it. I create gifts of love for the people closest to me, and I create gifts of love for people who need something soft and warm to help protect them from this cold world.

My time is precious to me, so if what I’m doing isn’t a creation of love, it’s a job and I expect to be compensated accordingly. Which is why I thoroughly expect her to change her mind when I tell her I charge $75 / hour, and the project she wants will likely take me four hours to make. And she wants two of them. Plus it uses seven different colors of yarn; you can estimate those at a minimum of $6 / skein. And the pattern isn’t free; that adds another $5.99. I can kind of see what the pattern will involve just by looking at the picture of the finished hat, but I have no idea how well it’s written or what a pain in the ass it might be, and it involves several pom-poms (which I loathe making, so I rarely do) which might even make them take longer.

So these two hats will cost her approximately $650, plus shipping since she lives a considerable distance from here.

Want to ask again why I don’t do commission work?

sometimes the pieces come together a lot later than you thought they would

Project from this weekend

Lancelot and I seem to have started a tradition of sharing a bottle of wine on our anniversary, and being the sentimental fool that I am, I’ve kept the corks from those two bottles. I wasn’t really sure why, it just seemed right. Yesterday I decided to see if I could make them more visible and that’s exactly what happened. I wrapped the corks with a bit of wire and added some sparkly bits. The other one is the same concept but with different accents. I have them hanging on the plant stand and they’re just perfect. I love projects that combine found objects and supplies I already have on hand.

I have definitely been keeping busy with the crafting lately. I finally finished some ornaments I had started working on sometime earlier this year, because the inspiration for how to finish them finally came to me. And I modified that Dragon Egg pattern to use some Koigu KPPM I had in my stash and ended up with a cozy for a plant jar.

I have no idea how much of a skein I used for this because it had been salvaged from a project of unknown origin and has been in my stash for well over 10 years. I had approximately 90 zillion ends to weave in because of this so instead of weaving them in I threaded them all to the inside and hid them instead. It’ll be our secret, shhhhh…

Keeping with my goal of not buying any yarn this year, and realizing that it wasn’t a struggle, has me thinking about going even bigger (actually smaller) next year. My thinking right now is that I won’t buy any new yarn, kits of any kind, or craft supplies next year. The caveat to all of those is that if I somehow manage to run out then my goal will have basically been met. But trust me, that’s not going to happen. I started making a list of just the bead kits I have and there are 10 on the list so far. So far. That doesn’t count the knitting kits, the crochet kit, felting kits, and other assorted craft kits that I know are lurking in this house. Step one is going to be to find and catalog all of those.

In other news, Lancelot and I took a mini-vacation to Des Moines, IA last Friday and had a blast. We went to the Art Center, Botanical Garden, an art gallery, and had the famous Crab Rangoon pizza at Fong’s. It was great to be able to get away and not spend an entire day on travel. It took less than a full tank of gas for the round-trip, plus we only needed a hotel for one night and L found a very nice place that was smack in the middle of what we wanted to see and was reasonably priced and had a fantastic continental breakfast. On Saturday when we got home we hung out and watched way too much TV and just had a really good time together.

We are sort of adorable together

psych update

There’s actually not much to update right now. I won’t see the doc again until the end of November, though I do see my therapist just about every other week. I think that therapy, like the medication, will always be a part of my life and I’m really ok with that. I feel very strongly that we all need someone to talk to that we know won’t judge us and will help us find solutions to situations that we just can’t talk to anyone else about. It’s just good for the soul.

seasons change and so do i

Doesn’t it frustrate you when you pick just a tiny bit of a song lyric out of thin air that perfectly fits, but you can’t remember which song it comes from? Ugh, bonkers. Anyway, moving on…

Dragon Egg Dice Bag for friend N’s birthday

The gathering of people for N’s birthday this weekend went really well. The food turned out great, there was some great conversation, and for me it was just a lovely opportunity to play hostess, which is something I quite enjoy. And the gift I made him, the Dragon Egg Dice Bag (Ravelry link to free pattern), was very well received. Even better – I already had yarn than worked out perfectly and I got to learn a new stitch to make it.

In general I would say that things around here have been quiet and smooth. We’ve had bumps, yes, but tiny ones. And I feel like we’re in good shape for the coming months. Our Halloween decorating is done, I’ve started working on my plan for Christmas decorating, and I’ve been working on gifts.

Yesterday afternoon I managed to work out a “pattern” for a bead embellished glass ornament and I’m very pleased with the results, especially considering I didn’t use a pattern.

It’s hard to see but there’s a small crystal star suspended inside the ornament

I had a bunch of these clear ornaments and a bunch of beads so, look out world, beaded ornaments for everyone on my list this year!!!

Psych update

Things with the med adjustment continue be going well. I have noticed that I’m not constantly thirsty like I was and I do feel a bit more animated. The other real change right now is that it’s time for the sunlamp. In addition to working to keep the Bipolar under control I also have Seasonal Affective Disorder that I’ve been very effectively treating by using a full spectrum sun lamp in the mornings during the fall/winter months. This was the treatment prescribed by my doc and it really does work. Plus, it’s not a pill and that’s a bonus when you have as many pills to take as I do.

Garth soaks up the sunshine every chance he gets

week two – second verse, same as the first

Today is the last day of my second week of the Lithium taper, which means that this week I took my normal 600mg nightly dose but nothing in the morning. So far I’m not really noticing anything one way or the other, and I honestly think that’s fantastic. I’m very hopeful that this is a good sign and that I may indeed be able to come off of, and stay off of, the Lithium.

I feel compelled to remind anyone reading this that I am doing this under the supervision of two doctors and that I have my entire village of family and friends keeping an eye on me. I would not ever encourage anyone to adjust medications like this without consulting their doctor first. Medication, particularly psychiatric medication, is nothing to trifle with.

But I’m feeling good, getting good sleep, trying to eat better, and starting to exercise a bit. I have more energy and motivation right now, but this doesn’t feel like that creep of hypomania sneaking in. This honestly feels like me but without the tinge of depression that can sneak into any of our lives. It’s a nice feeling.