forgive me, my followers, for I have strayed…

Since last we spoke I have…

  • Bought 3 new pairs of knitting needles, because they were on clearance, and they’re bamboo
  • Bought 3 new pairs of shoes
  • Bought clothes – for work
  • Gained some weight and lost some weight
  • Did a pretty thorough clean-out of most of my crap
  • Got confirmation that we will be moving office space at work; I get to see the new digs tomorrow
  • Taken a week off work
  • Started a sewing project
  • Finished some smaller projects
  • Realized how amazing sugar free chocolate syrup and club soda mixed together are
  • Discovered why zoodles are so exciting, and yummy

I’m doing alright, keeping busy mostly. The cats like to help which isn’t really much help at all, but I love them.

I’m also still single, which is still just fine. I ended up needing to help a guy on campus that I had a prolonged, and mostly painful, “thing” with and it was sad, but not how you’d think. Damn near every gift I had ever given him was in his office, prominently displayed. I’m not sure if that was for my benefit that day or if he’s got a new woman going to his apartment regularly who isn’t interested in seeing that shit laying around. Who knows. With him anything is possible. Regardless, it was purely professional. Yay me.

ch-ch-ch-changes!!!

So I’m happy to report that being 42 is every bit as awesome as I hoped it would be. I got to spend time with some friends last week, my work-husband brought me donuts, I completely blew the whole healthy eating thing, my Panda Princess Partner is back from maternity leave, and I’ve decided that my world is well and truly a drama free zone.

There has been some “moving on” because of that, namely with the guy scene. I just have no desire to be anyone’s second choice and I’m implementing some standards. Who’d have thunk?

I’m also taking a stab at round two of making a shawl that turned out to be a heinous disaster the first time. Did y’all know that actually reading the damn instructions makes a huge difference? I meant to bring it with me today since I have a hair appointment tonight and then I could have taken a pic, but alas, I’m forgetful.

In other super exciting news, I turned in my final project for an online professional development course I’ve been taking and I got great feedback from the woman who was facilitating. My #1 Strength according to the Clifton Strengths Finder assessment is Learner and boy do I ever love to be learning new things. That’s one of the perks of working in higher education; there’s always something new to learn and lots of opportunities to do so.

Anyway, what I just finished was considered a certificate. I have a B.S., an M.A., a graduate certificate from the university where I work, and now two professional certificates from other universities. One of these days I should think about a doctorate degree but I’m not ready to commit yet.

Now for some visual distractions…

the fifty-cent garter stitch scarf

That’s the scarf that resulted from my fabulous yarn score at the artist garage sale. The length is good, not obnoxiously long, and the colors are really interesting. It was a nice, relaxing knit.

hanging violet (click for bigger pic)

I absolutely love African violets, and so do the boys. I haven’t had any for awhile because, well, they killed the ones I did have and I hadn’t figured out how to keep one safe. So I got a tiny 2″ potted violet, a plastic cup, some pebbles, soil, and leftover sock yarn. I crocheted a solid base and then did the netting around the sides. It’s lovely.

a friend at work crocheted me a lovely purple blanket which the boys promptly claimed… this one is Eric (click for bigger pic)

this is not the droid you seek

I’m in what one of my colleagues aptly referred to as a “reinvention period.” And he’s right. Every so often I completely turn myself into a vastly different version of myself. In the past this has been brought on by failed relationships, wanting to keep relationships from failing, or wanting to keep the next relationship from failing.

No more.

It’s a well documented fact that I’m not very good in relationships. I’ve been married and divorced three separate times and been in too many other relationships to remember. But they don’t last and I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately. So here’s the list of reasons I’m not “that” droid.

  • I’m too old
  • I’m too young
  • I’m too short
  • I’m too fat
  • I’m too smart
  • I’m not smart enough
  • I’m too passionate
  • My taste in music is too weird
  • I’m not a musician
  • I work in education
  • I can support myself
  • I don’t make enough money
  • I have tattoos
  • I don’t have kids
  • I do have cats
  • I don’t like to drink wine
  • I have weird hair
  • I have short hair
  • I have bipolar disorder
  • I’m opinionated
  • I will speak my mind
  • I’m not great at singing
  • I’m not politically active
  • I don’t like Trump

Lastly, but I’m finding now is most important, I don’t give a good goddamn about any of those things and whether or not a man puts stock in them or not. This is me, this is the skin I wear, and if you don’t like it…

The door is over there. I’ll be busy enjoying my bellydancing class, grilling myself a steak, and rubbing my kitties’ tummies.