things that make you stay sane

There was a meeting at work this morning, whole department not just my tiny team, that was meant to give us tips for not burning out and staying professional and basically just surviving the whole “you’ll be working from your homes now and no, we really aren’t sure for how long” business.

But we’ve been at this for over a year now.

And they really don’t know how much longer we’ll have to do it.

And yes, that’s a 25lb Goldendoodle on my lap.

Anyway, it seemed like rather a waste of time to me but what the hell do I know? And I guess that was my frustration; everything they talked about is either stuff I’m already doing (because we should) or avoiding doing (because we should) and I mostly felt like I could have done a better job of the session in part because of that. Well, that and a whole lot of self-awareness that I’ve cultivated over the last 15+ years of mental health care.

Photo by Pixabay on

I started this post on Tuesday, right before all hell broke loose. So let me take just a moment to catch y’all up.

I’ve been fighting off this icky fatigue, upper respiratory, chills nonsense for a while now. Rather a long while. But I’m stubborn and, to the best of my knowledge, had not been exposed to The Rona. Tuesday afternoon my body decided to toss in some GI stuff and that was it. I changed into jammies and sought out a comfy chair in the sunroom and basically melted into a puddle of cold goo.

Yesterday morning I decided that enough was enough, the symptoms were too close to COVID for comfort. And Lancelot still goes to work every night and his place of employment is kinda “petri dish-esque.” I will say, I feel pretty good that this was the very first time either of us had felt the need to be tested. I feel good because we’ve been following the guidelines from that nice Dr. Fauci.

At any rate, it was not overly pleasant, not gonna lie. And mine has come back and it was negative. So I called my doctor’s office and got setup for a telehealth visit. That nice doctor said the rapid test I had done was not accurate enough for his liking, particularly given my symptoms, so he ordered another test that also included testing for influenza A and B. Fortunately you can do all three of those things with a single brain-tickling swab.

The results from that were all negative. Still don’t know about Lancelot. He feels fine though, which is good. So now I’m waiting to hear back from the doc about what we do next, especially since he mentioned bacterial pneumonia. So much fucking excitement I can hardly contain it.

For now I’m working, as best I can, and trying to stay warm and hydrated.

Garth is just too freaking adorable

In other news, I am down 22.5lbs. I find that sort of miraculous given the last few days I’ve moved less than your average sloth and I’ve eaten more calories than I really needed. But I know that my body is doing its best to fight off whatever this is, plus I have an active cyst issue. Yay.

The other good news, my fingers are good enough that I’ve started knitting again. I had tried to make a hat for my stepdad for Christmas and it turned out too big, so I’m trying again with the kind of yarn I always use. It’s a delightfully straightforward pattern so it’s excellent TV knitting and right now that is precisely what I need.

I am late getting to the party, but smoothie bowls are amazing

if it’s not one thing it’s twelve others

I’m having yet another medical mystery, and I haven’t written about it because quite honestly I didn’t know enough to really say much. But now, well, I still don’t feel like I know a damn thing but at least I know there will be tests. Many tests.

Something is now allegedly wrong with my kidneys, though the nice young doctor I saw yesterday has very little clue as to what. So now I get to pee into a bottle, for a whole delightful day. I get to have more blood drawn. And I get to have an ultrasound. I am so fucking delighted. Oh, and I get to take and track my blood pressure for two weeks.

For what it’s worth, I feel FINE.

Anyway, yesterday kinda sucked. But it was a special day. Lancelot and I have been officially married for two whole months. And so, late in the afternoon, my doorbell rang…

It has Stargazer lilies, purple roses, dendrobium orchids, and purple hydrangeas. It’s beautiful and perfect and insanely romantic. I love it. That bastard made me cry, and the worst part of that was he was already asleep. They’re making my office smell fantastic.

And then this morning I ordered yarn for a new shawl, because you know, I don’t have any yarn in this house.

The good news, because we can’t end this without a silver lining, is that this morning I was able to kick myself in the ass enough to get all of the laundry folded and put away and the kitchen properly cleaned up. Awesome-sauce.