insert catchy title here

I had my first date with Lancelot on August 12, 2018. It was  pretty much love at first sight for me. Those big blue eyes, that gentle smile, the sarcasm. I was sold.

We’ve had our share of rough times since then. I’ve left the country three times, started and then stopped a second graduate degree, and he’s worked a fuckton of overtime. But we’ve stuck together because we love each other.

Life around here has been interesting. The university has decided to give students an extended spring break and then everyone is moving to online. I think it’s only a matter of time before the campus is shut down entirely.

I don’t necessarily object to working from home. I would have the boys around.

And I could for sure pick Lancelot up every morning.

I would miss my friends though, and the structure of work. I think that’s something a lot of people aren’t really thinking about yet. Kids, and people like me, need that structure. When we don’t have our regular routines we eventually suffer.

I can already see it happening with me.

I have a serious backlog of laundry, the sheets desperately need to be change, the plants need to be watered, pills need to be filled, and I haven’t knit in what feels like forever. Today I’m at work but I’m in jeans, no makeup, and the only jewelry is my ring from L. Kind of feels like a rock bottom to me. And that can mean only one thing.

forgive me gentle readers, I haven’t died yet…

Life around here is just 100% BATSHIT FUCKING CRAZY, to put it mildly.

Y’all might have heard of that rotten little COVID-19 thing that’s going around. Since I work for a university everyone here is trying to scramble to make sure that we can continue to operate as close to normal as possible when the inevitable happens and we end up closing the campus. They call this stuff “disaster preparedness” and what you tend to realize is that you really aren’t very prepared at all.

So I haven’t been knitting or really doing much of anything recreational because by the time I get home I am entirely exhausted and incapable of anything more complicated than drooling on myself. It’s amazing.

But no, I’m not sick. I’m as healthy as I ever am, just totally wore out. I miss writing, I miss knitting, and I miss Lancelot. I haven’t been picking him up every morning and I didn’t realize what a difference that would make. Honestly, I HATE not seeing him every day.

I will survive.

life moves pretty fast

That man of mine is a handsome devil, ain’t he? We took Mom out for dinner on Saturday and were able to get a picture. I think this is one of the best we’ve gotten lately.

The weekend was good. Too short, but good. There was amazing food, good company, a little shopping, and lots of snuggles. Hell, I even got some sleep.

I’ve been having extra difficulties with my skin, and I’m not enjoying that one bit. But I did find the chewy Airborne vitamins (I even found elderberry!) and I’m hoping that once the stress from the anniversary plus all the bullshit at work settles down that my body will stop thinking it hates me.

I’m also very much looking forward to my new eyeglasses arriving. I’m having wicked headaches from the prescription being so far out of whack.

Eric is walking laps around the dining room table because I won’t let him steal my markers. Silly boy. And Garth is growling at the workmen who are trying to replace the deck. It’s a party here.

of anniversaries, reminders, and feels

This has nothing to do with anything except I really do feel this way. I’m having to put together a resource so that if that stupid fucking Covid-19 virus bullshit shuts down the physical campus we won’t all be stuck with nothing to do. So for fuck sake, wash your damn hands, use tissues when you sneeze, cough into your elbow, and if you’re running a fucking fever just keep your plague ridden ass at home.

But I digress, as usual.

This Saturday is the 8th anniversary of my father’s passing. He died of a wicked nasty form of cancer that no one researches because too few people die from it. It was super painful and there was no hope of recovery but it doesn’t involve tits and tons of people so, eh, fuck you.

Anyway, I’m mostly just fine with the anniversary. We knew he was going to die so we had a little time to prepare. And it’s been awhile. I still miss him sometimes but it’s not the sharp, stabby kind of pain anymore.

At any rate, Lancelot and I are taking Mom out for dinner Saturday mostly because it seems like the good kid thing to do. And I am nothing if not the good kid.


of frogs and knights and other things that go bump in the dark

I might just be a tiny bit obsessed with Baby Yoda. Just a tiny bit. I can’t help it, the little fucker is just so damn cute.

The creatures are also very cute. Pippy likes to chew on Garth. The other day she figured out how to hold him down on the bed and chew on his toe-beans. I’ve tried explaining “consent” to her but it’s not working.

Valentine’s Day was last Friday and I have to say, Lancelot outdid himself. We went out for a lovely dinner of Mexican food and margaritas, I got a very sweet card, and he got me a Lovebook. It’s a book that has little cartoon figures of us and he picked out all of the sweet things his character said about mine. I damn near cried.

So those things were all good. Feeling crushed by work is not so good. I’m trying though. It doesn’t help that I haven’t been feeling great, or that I have to go get my second pneumonia shot this afternoon. But I have discount chocolate so I’ll persevere.

She crawled into the sink all by herself, I have no idea what the fuck was up with that.

you spin me right round, baby right round…

Life is not so swell right now. There’s too much stress, both in my professional life and in my personal life. It’s like everything is ganging up on me all at once, expecting me to waltz on a turntable while wearing stiletto heels and a bear suit, but the music is way too fast and why the fuck am I wearing the damn bear suit?

Sorry, I digress.

Work is getting to be flat out overwhelming sometimes. There’s only so much of me to go around and there are a whole lot of projects that I’m expected to work on. I’m doing the best I can, treading water mostly, but I’m good at it.

The personal life stuff centers around my sister and her youngest daughter. A is 10 and is being treated for anxiety. Our (mom, sis, and I) opinion is that she’s also dealing with OCD. It’s hard because she can’t really articulate what she needs or even what triggers her to have “meltdowns.” It’s hard because we feel helpless right now. So sis is working to find her a better therapist and psychiatrist and that will hopefully help, a LOT.

Mom and Lancelot are good, thank dog. L and I tend to take turns in the mornings when I’m driving him home from work venting our frustrations from the day before. It’s nice supplemental therapy for me.

I am still knitting, which is part of what keeps me sane. I finished the striped shawl last night but, true to form, did not take a picture. It’s not terribly bit but I think it’s cute. I haven’t yet finished the green scarf with the buttons but I have worked on it. And I’ve been working on this…

It’s a very basic entrelac scarf using size 3 needles and Malabrigo Sock in the Rayon Vert colorway. I love it. It’s definitely going to be an indoor accessory type of scarf as opposed to actual warm outerwear.

Eric says you don’t need warm outerwear if you stay inside snuggled in your kitty bed all day.

I kind of feel like I have too many irons in the fire, and today I totally haz the dumbz, but I’m managing. I know the things I need to do in order to take care of myself and I’m doing my best to do them. I just keep reminding myself that, to date, my survival rate has been 100%. And that is definitely worth celebrating.

things I wish our instructors knew

Today is the first day of the spring semester. Spring is never as big a deal as fall, but still. And this year is a little extra odd because when finals were over for fall so was the work year for us.

But everyone knew that was going to happen. The academic calendars come out at least a year in advance. And spring always follows fall, so seriously kids, get with the program. We’re all grown ups here, let’s act like it, shall we?

In no particular order, here are a few things I wish our instructors would take into consideration.

There is one of me. There are roughly 1000 of you. I have colleagues that do some of the same things I do, but they don’t read my email.

I don’t work nights and I don’t work weekends.

You can’t leave me voice mail because I suck at checking it. Send me an email. I do check that from my phone, sometimes even at night or on the weekend.

There are a lot of things I do for you because it’s easier than trying to explain to you for the 10th time how you can do it. But please don’t be surprised if I answer your question with a handout. I have limits.

I don’t work here for the money, I do this because I love being in education.

The more polite you are, like just saying thank you, the more likely I am to give you extra care and attention.

I went to school to learn how to teach and use technology to more effectively teach; you did not. You’re an expert in your thing, please try to acknowledge that I’m an expert in my thing.

It’s entirely possible that I’ve been here longer than you have (I’m fast approaching 20 years) so please consider acknowledging my historical knowledge of this fine institution. Also, I know lots of people around here so please be careful who you trash-talk in front of me.

Honestly y’all, I love this place. I can’t imagine being anywhere else and I never thought I would stay at one job for this long. But sometimes it’s frustrating, as all jobs can be. Thanks for letting me get this out of my system.

there i was, fighting off a raging grizzly bear with a cocktail toothpick and a bag of schnitzel, when suddenly…

Ok, so he’s not a raging grizzly. He’s much more a tiny little cat who apparently doesn’t understand how a dog crate works. This is one of his new favorite places to hang out. I suspect it’s because it puts him close to the TV.

Things here have been rather lovely. I joined the gym again this morning and I’ve been trying to do better with eating reasonably healthy stuff. Like sugar free peach jello and raspberries. That’s one of my all-time favorite healthy treats. And I got some amazing green grapes at the grocery store the other day. Absolute delish.

Also delish was this ensemble on Friday. The shawl was made with yarn I picked up in Dublin and that leather thingy is something I got at the yarn shop here. It’s amazing and it goes with everything.

I’ve started working on a new shawl already and it’s coming along quite well. I’ll have to get a picture soon. I’ve been trying to knit at lunch while I talk to Lancelot. It’s a delightful way to pass the time. And he’s just a delightful man.

This is probably the best picture of Eric I’ve ever taken. He generally hates to have his photo taken. But he’s stunning and his mama loves him.

This is likely going to be a rough week. The semester starts next Monday and so everyone is realizing they probably need to come by for a visit. Except there’s only so much of me to go around. Job security, yes. Massive headache, absolutely.

All I can do is stay on top of my tasks, take care of myself as best I can, and remember my mantra…

I do not look good in prison orange.

christmas is the time to say i love you

I can’t remember what song that’s from, but it’s catchy.

So I’ve been busy, which is a lame ass excuse but it is what it is. I’ve been trying to get stuff lined up for the holidays, drain my health care spending account, visit ALL the doctors, and not go bat-crap crazy.

So far, so good.

Lancelot got tickets for us to see Jesus Christ Superstar last weekend. It was amazing. We had seats on the main floor just off to the side so our view was phenomenal.

Garth and Pippy have been playing a lot lately. I snapped this the other morning when they were pretending to be good. I finished a sweater for Pippy last night, I’ll have to get a picture of it on her. The pattern was more like a recipe, which was fine, and it was crocheted with two strands of worsted weight Red Heart using a size N hook. It worked up FAST.

I also, sometime since last we spoke, did go through and get all of my yarn collected. I didn’t do the inventory yet but it’s at least in one place and I have an idea of what’s there.

We need a damn intervention.

But that’s fine, I no longer have disposable income. My student loans have to be paid on again, among other things, so I really need to focus on using up what I have on hand. That shouldn’t be too hard.

My last day of work (official work) is this Friday. The university shuts down starting Saturday and we won’t come back until January 2nd. I will likely come in at some point to take down my holiday decorations and take a few bits and pieces home. The rumor about us moving (AGAIN) are true. I want to do a bit of a purge here while I’ve got peace and quiet to do it.

i did indeed survive

It’s been awhile, but I’m back. Back in one piece, mostly healthy, and with stories. Can’t beat that with a stick.

That’s me in front of a little library area inside the Hagia Sophia in Istanbul. The trip was good. I love going new places, I just don’t like the whole “getting there” part. Airports and airplanes suck. But tasting new food is awesome as is shopping in new places. So yay.

My favorite outing was a yacht cruise on the Bosphorus at sunset. Absolutely stunning. Turn your head one way and you’re looking at Europe. Turn your head the other way and you’re looking at Asia. Mind boggling.

I think it’s safe to say that this was my favorite trip so far. There aren’t any plans for more trips right now, which is good. But I have decided that I like a good adventure now and then.