catching up

So much to tell… Many interesting things have happened since last I wrote. Some have been awesome, some have been awful. Let’s start by getting the awful out of the way, shall we?

The dermatologist has put me on a new med to try and help with my cysts. Actually, what it’s supposed to do is help me lose weight. And that means my chubby butt is back on the damn diet. The good part of this is that I’m really trying again. Hopefully this time it sticks.

The other slightly awful bit is that it’s August, and August at a university is busy as fucking hell. It is what it is.

The good bit about August is that Lancelot’s birthday was earlier this week, Mom’s birthday is in a few weeks, and her new puppy will be picked up next Monday. That also happens to be the one year anniversary of my first date with L. Once we had that date we never looked back. No going out with anyone else since then. Don’t we make a cute couple?

That smile gets me every time.

Part of why I haven’t written deals with the most recent shootings. No, I was not involved directly. No, I’m not an expert on any of this. But yes, I feel marginalized because of the statements the President has made regarding better screening for people who have mental illnesses wanting to purchase guns and how “those people” might have to be involuntarily committed.

This is how genocide starts.

It’s happening at the southern border with the detention camps and with the ICE raids. His rhetoric is to blame for many of the shootings; people who have become emboldened by his hate speech against minorities.

I am a minority if you use mental illness as a way in which I am different than other parts of the population.

I fully agree that we need easier access to higher quality mental health care, 100%. But don’t you dare fucking think that you should have the right to lock me up against my will, denying me of my constitutional rights, just because you’re uneducated and refuse to listen to reason.

On a lighter note, here is Eric the Red taking a brief rest from playing with his squirrel toy…

so there I was, up to my false eyelashes in chicken feathers and ginger ale bottles

It’s been hot here lately. HOT. Sadly that means my energy levels are super low. I’m having one hell of a time getting motivated to start walking again, even inside on the treadmill with both fans going. And I know I need to get some activity in.

But…

Somehow, and I’m really not sure how, I’ve lost 2 1/2lbs since last Friday. And this baffles me because Lancelot and I didn’t exactly eat super healthy food over the weekend. We mostly ate crap to be honest.

Anyway, I’m excited, super excited, and I’m hoping this helps jump start my walking and activity. So YAY!

In other news, I finally got my new glasses.

They almost perfectly match my hair, they have tons of bling, and the clip on sunglasses are amazing.

With the exception of the weather this week is shaping up well. It’s a short week for me, only three days, and then I have a delightful five day weekend. And then the following week is only four days and then I’m off work until July 22nd. We aren’t going anywhere exotic this time, just taking time off work to relax and enjoy each other’s company. I can’t wait.

things i’ve been learning

  • eating a bowl of ice cream isn’t going to make the world end
  • “traditional” meal prep isn’t necessarily right for me – I get bored too easily
  • variety is crucial; this includes a little junk every now and then
  • my mental health is every bit as important as my physical health; I can’t neglect one in favor of the other
  • this is a process
  • Lancelot thinks I’m beautiful no matter what
  • I lost 1lb since Monday even with eating the ice cream last night

The lighting in my office is horrid. But yes, I’m wearing tie-dye. This is a high-low skirt and kimono style vest over a white tank. I got the combo at the art festival a few weeks ago. I made the jewelry. I think this may be my new favorite outfit.

Mom and I are trying to eat healthy dinners together and I’m trying to have healthy lunches but I really have realized that having the exact same lunch every day is not for me. There will be similar pieces, such as fresh clementines and hard boiled eggs, but I’m going to try for something a little different. If I have a salad I’ll try to put different things on it, you know, stuff like that.

I know for damn sure that if I get bored with the food I’ll drop this damn “healthy eating” thing like a hot rock.

Yes, it’s a pain in the ass to make a lunch every night, but the pay off will be worth it.

One down, 99 to go…

the biggest goal ever

I currently weigh 269lbs. I am 5’6″ tall. Depending on who you ask I am considered Morbidly Obese even though I am constantly told, even by medical professionals, that I don’t look that heavy.

But I am. And I’ve decided that being that heavy is almost certainly the root of my discontent these days.

My body hurts, almost constantly. It just plain doesn’t feel right. And I get tired entirely too easily.

These aren’t part of a larger, more sinister, issue. This is me not having taken proper care of my body for far too long. I will own this issue because it’s mine to own.

So what’s my goal? I will lose 100lbs by June 24, 2020.

Before anyone panics, that would still have me at a healthy weight for my height. I am also doing this at the recommendation of my doctors. I have no intention of doing a crash diet, using laxatives or stimulants, starving myself, exercising to the point of excess, or anything that is otherwise not healthy. I plan to be more diligent about my food and drink choices and increase my activity, namely walking.

I can do this. I will do this. Lancelot and Mom are doing it with me, though I don’t think either of them plan to lose as much. We will support each other.

I’m telling you all about this because I need to be held accountable. And maybe you’re looking for someone to inspire you or make you feel better about your progress. Who knows.

I will share good recipes as I come across them, I promise you that. Sometimes that’s the hardest part.

Here we go… 100 or bust.