life goes goofy

Lancelot and I had a really good weekend, in spite of me not feeling great part of the time. We did get our finances joined – yay – and our errands run, including a trip to a local bee/honey store. That was awesome. On Saturday we went so I could get yet another blood draw (more on that in a bit), we actually got to eat breakfast at our favorite bagel place (because no one else was in the dining room!), and we got our monthly massages. We were supposed to go out for dinner to celebrate our one month anniversary but I was exhausted and decided that there was no way I would enjoy it.

So instead we relaxed the rest of the day and got take out food from our favorite Thai restaurant.

Yesterday I got a call from the doc’s office about the blood draw. Back when I got to go see the special blood doc they had done some test to check my liver and kidney function. Those numbers were not good so I had to have those tests done again. Evidently my liver is ok but my kidneys might not be. I had to schedule an appointment to see the psych doc (GP thinks this might be from the Lithium) and I’m waiting for a call to get an appointment with a kidney specialist.

At any rate, after I found out about that my body decided that it was really not amused and I called it quits at 1pm. I camped out on the couch with the dog and my latest knitting project. I feel marginally better today. I honestly think I’m having issues from a sinus infection. I’ve got a lot of drainage and a wicked headache right where my sinus cavities are. No fun.

On the knitting front, I had L help me wind up yarn for two projects over the weekend. The one I’m actively working on right now is Syyslaulu, inspired by the one that NothingButKnit made. I decided to make mine with yarn I brought back from Ireland last spring; S Twist Wool. The label says that it’s mixed mountain fleece from Tipperary. It’s beautiful shades of soft orange that I think will be wonderful with this pattern. I just wish the yarn itself was softer.

That is the shawl, though that’s a horrible likeness of the actual color. I took this pic this morning at around 6am while I was waiting to go get L from work. This is how I often get to knit in the morning, complete with the little black dog nose. And yes, I tend to keep my current projects in small rigid tote bags. It keeps them mostly safe from critters.

I can’t remember the other upcoming project, only that it’s also a shawl (surprise!) and that the yarn is Knit Picks in some shade of dark purple. Also, it has a lace edge. Yeah totally not like me. Right.

I did order and receive some stunning lampwork beads here recently that I need to do something with. I got a large focal bead and some smaller accent beads that I think I’ll turn into earrings. All I know is that I need to get crafty again soon.

I’ve also been working on the whole meal planning thing.  Tonight’s dinner, meatballs and mushroom gravy, is in the crock pot already. I’m trying to figure my menu out ahead of time so I can order only the groceries we really need.

So that’s where I am right now. Sitting in my office wishing I was knitting instead of working.

time for me to do some things that make me happy

I had a chat with Lancelot last week about how I’m feeling “off.” Actually it was more like the one day I just kind of cried for about an hour, grieving parts of the life I used to live, the life we all used to live before this damn plague scared us out of our minds. The issue, as we finally figured out, is not having things to look forward to, at least not like we used to. But how to resolve that.

What we arrived at was that every month on our anniversary we’ll do something “safe” that we both enjoy. We could go to one of the museums, out to dinner, or like this weekend we went to a bookstore and then to a small local jewelry store. I’m not saying that retail therapy is the answer, but those two places weren’t crowded and were doing a good job with the social distancing and cleaning stuff.

I’ll admit that I was delighted that L decided to buy me a very lovely black onyx ring and an amazing dragon-head bracelet. It was beside the point, but damn does that man have good taste in my jewelry. And I bought books, like normal books for me to read. That’s something I haven’t done in literally years. Three are fiction and the other is a cookbook.

We’ve decided that, in an effort to make the cooking burden a little less of a burden on me, we would try making some “freeze ahead” crock pot meals. If you aren’t familiar with the concept you prep everything you would need for a given recipe and dump in a gallon size freezer bag that you’ve labeled with the heat and time requirements. That goes in the freezer until the night before you want to cook it. Defrost in the fridge over night then dump in the crock pot and cook.

I picked out something like 9 meals that seemed interesting and got all of the ingredients to make them. We then spent a little more than an hour Saturday night preparing 5 meals, because I wore out.  So there’s 5 dinners (so far) that I won’t have to mess with.

The cookbook I got is for doing essentially the same thing but for the instant pot. It was marked down to something like $7 and has a lot of interesting sounding recipes, so I figured it was probably worth it.

Oh, and I’ve started reading one of the fiction books.

If anyone was taking bets about how long it would be before I started a new knitting project, it was the very next day. And I’ve finished it. It’s the most basic shawl ever, almost, and I did it with a not fabulous ball of Lion Brand “Shawl in a Ball.” Hey, the colors are pretty. I wanted something that didn’t require a single ounce of skull sweat. And it should be nice and warm this winter. Or perhaps tomorrow. We’re about to have a major dip in temps.

She really does prefer to be touching us. That was this morning when the sun was out. The shawl was on my lap because I had just finished the ridiculously long bind-off and her ear managed to get flopped over my ankle.

My plan, though please don’t hold me to this, is to finally move past the cuff of the first mitt for my friend K. I had to retype the directions so that they made sense to me and I have done that and printed a copy. Seriously, it’s fingerless mitts, they shouldn’t take hardly any time at all.

I can’t show a picture of the pooch and not show a pic of at least one kitty. I caught Garth in mid-yawn the other night. Too perfect.

week in review

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…

Oh wait, wrong story. Let me try again.

For a first week of the semester this hasn’t sucked ass too badly. We did have some serious tech issues to start things on Monday, but that’s been the worst of it. So that was good.

And I got some knitting done. I actually managed a lot of knitting, including this beauty.

It very desperately needs to be blocked but I don’t even care. It’s amazing. Then this morning I pulled this out of hiding and finished it.

It did end up much longer, like scarf length, which was the plan. The next project on the block is either going to be another scarf that’s in pieces and just needs assembled OR  it might be a pair of cabled fingerless mitts for my friend K. Those currently consist of a single ribbed cuff.

It feels good to be finishing some projects. Yesterday I didn’t feel like I had much mental capability so I cleaned up my office. It helped. This afternoon before I wake L up I’m planning on tearing apart the guest bathroom off the main hallway. There’s an overabundance of junk in there.

Lancelot and I have lived together in this house a little more than four months and we’re still working to get everything in place. Sometimes you just have to take your best guess as to how you’ll want things setup and then step back for a while and see how it goes. I’m finding myself at the point where I’m ready to make some changes. The other day I swapped the contents of two drawers because they just weren’t working.

Perhaps I’m mental. Perhaps.

Perhaps I eat a lot of chicken curry. Yes, yes I do. I’ve decided it’s one of the easiest dinners I can cook without really cooking anything. I do everything except the rice in the slow cooker so it’s total minimal effort. And I found the tiny naan at the grocery store. They fit in the toaster so you can easily have them nice and warm. It’s perfect!

This week’s cheap and cheerful grocery store bouquet. I’ve decided that having fresh flowers makes me ridiculously happy and is well worth the small price tag.

outing myself

First the easy update, I think the shawl will be done yet this week. For one thing, I’m getting towards the end of the pattern. For another thing, I’m getting frighteningly close to end of the yarn. I’m thinking I might be making a few executive decisions about how many repeats to do. But hey, that’s part of the beauty of a pattern like this, I can be as flexible as I want.

Here’s a totally random update… We picked up a delicious watermelon last weekend and man do I love me some good watermelon. But this sucker was HUGE, like so big I was afraid me and Lancelot couldn’t possibly eat all of it before it spoiled. And that’s when I remembered something from when I traveled over to Delhi and Dubai.

Watermelon juice.

We had already cleaned and chunked up the melon so I just tossed a quantity into the blender and abused the hell out of it. And that was it. No straining, no fussing, no nothing. Pour it in a cup, stick a straw in it, and enjoy. It’s wonderful. And it’s healthy. So yay.

So I mentioned outing myself, something I actually used to do pretty regularly. I have Bipolar Disorder and I’m not at all ashamed to talk about it. FFS, I was actively working on writing my memoir all about it! When it comes up naturally in conversation and it makes sense, I have a tendency to say something.

Today I met with a faculty member who will be teaching an online Social Work class that deals with mental illness. DUH, it made sense to me to bring up my diagnosis. I’m more than 13 years into recovery at this point and I’m in a good place with my treatment so I’m pretty damn comfortable talking about it, particularly since I know that talking openly and honestly helps to fight the stigma associated with mental illnesses.

For example, I will tell you…

• I take medication every day to help stabilize my moods; 12 pills to be precise (all of my other pills are for other doc prescribed stuff)
• I meet (via Zoom right now) with my therapist every other week
• I don’t drink more than 2 drinks in a 7 day period because I know that more is not healthy for me
• I don’t smoke, anything, because it screws with my mood
• I go to bed at 8 because if I have trouble sleeping that leaves me enough time to get sleep before I must get up in the morning
• But I usually get up around 4am and start doing stuff
• I haven’t been actively suicidal since 2009
• I don’t like violence of any kind and I wouldn’t dream of hitting another creature
• It’s taken a long time for me to like myself

But if you just met me under normal circumstances you would likely never guess that my home life was any different than your own. And that is one of my greatest successes I think; being able to “pass” for someone who doesn’t have a mental illness.

Lancelot and I did this thing…

It really is official now, and it still really doesn’t feel like it. But everything came off without a hitch and we are now well and truly Mr. and Mrs. Lancelot. And I do really love that.

My friend K took the photos for us and from what I’ve seen so far… WOW. She’s phenomenal and we’re totally lucky that she was willing and able to do this for us. I can’t wait to see the rest of the pictures she took.

Everything went really well in spite of the crazy heat and we had a very nice time.

So since then we’ve been doing our best to enjoy our brief vacation from work. We ate out at a restaurant for the first time in utter ages. We went to two museums, both of which are practicing very strict social distancing, much to my pleasure.

I took a picture of us last year in the atrium of this same museum. Last year we were able to sit on the edge of the fountain, this year we stood. But still, I got to get out and do a few things. SAFELY.

Both of us return to work now, L tonight and me in the morning. We’ve hung up all of the pictures we received as gifts (did you know Etsy has a wedding registry? totally awesome), made a few purchases to spiff up the house a little, and taken some time to relax.

And last night we got to celebrate my mom’s birthday. With cheesecake. That I had to make. It was super yum.

Oh, I might have snuck to the yarn shop (with L’s full knowledge) and acquired two skeins of Mountain Colors “Twizzlefoot” that might just get turned into a single shawl…

nothing like the smell of progress

I do love it when a plan comes together, don’t  you?

My office is essentially done. Finally. The only thing I need now is a better chair. And yes, that’s Eric the Red snoozing in his bed. I quite often have him and Pippy in here napping while I work. I’d like to think that’s because they enjoy my company but they could just as easily be taunting me with the fact that they get to sleep while I must toil away.

Lancelot helped me bring all of my files from the desk in the basement up here this morning. I’m sure there’s still stuff down there that should be moved, but this got a good chunk of it. Given what I struggle with in the “scrambled brains” department it’s essential that I have a system to stay organized.

We’re finally at a point where the things we have left to do are pretty much purely cosmetic. I’ve got some new artsy things to put on the walls and a few pictures to frame, but really everything that’s left is little. And that’s good. Because…

Now it’s time to get back to better meal planning and concentrating on my health. L got the treadmill cleared off and setup for me and I found my Fitbit this morning and put it on the charger. I’m seriously hoping that I can get myself on some sort of routine that involves better health.

I was pretty seriously concerned about weight gain when the plague started. I figured there was a very real possibility that I would end up weighing 600lbs. So I started weighing myself, nothing more and nothing less. I wasn’t trying to lose any weight, I just didn’t want to gain any. As of the last time I checked I had gained a total of 2lbs since March 23rd. I think that’s pretty fucking fabulous.

If any of y’all have any good (easy?) recipes to share, maybe slow cooker or pressure cooker, I would love to hear about them.

a quick check of the rear view mirror before we peal out into the sunset

First, let’s just get this big ol’ turd out of the way. The goals I set for myself last year didn’t happen. I tried, mostly, but I can very honestly say that I didn’t put forth the effort I knew would be necessary. That’s 100% on me.

None of this makes me any less of a person and it doesn’t even make me feel bad about myself. I tried, that’s what was important. So, moving on.

Here are some things that I think went really well this last year:

• I successfully completed a semester of grad school. I doubt I’ll go back to finish the program but that’s because of the price tag, not because I don’t think I can mentally handle it. Very important difference.
• I have become much more aware of my spending habits and what I could be doing different with my money. I feel confident that this year WILL be better.
• Lancelot and I grew as a couple and things feel stronger than ever between us.
• I’ve learned a lot about who I really am as a person, and I like that person.

Over the winter break I’ve gotten a ton of stuff done, and that makes me feel good, too. Mom and I tore the house apart, donated a bunch of stuff we no longer use, reorganized all of the holiday stuff, and I even did a full inventory of my yarn stash. Yes, the entire stash. It’s a beautifully organized spreadsheet that nearly brings a tear to my eye.

Here are some of my favorite projects from this year:

The Stormy Skies shawl seemed appropriate for a stormy day

I finished a scarf this morning that was supposed to be my last project of last year but then I had a glass of wine with dinner and my old butt was in bed by 8pm. And even though it’s a pretty little scarf it kind of looks like unicorn vomit at the moment.

I am still working on the shell shawl (did I ever show y’all that?) but it’s in time out on account of the one needle trying to take out one of my fingers in a very unfortunate laundry incident. I also realized that I don’t have nearly enough yarn to finish it the way I want to so that’s kind of pissing me off. I’ve also started another shawl (quelle surprise!) that’s two different purples (also a big shocker) and will have some super shiny beads. Stay tuned.

So, what does 2020 have in store for me? I’m ever so glad you asked…

• Keep working on getting my credit cards and other debts paid off. The plan is to have everything except my big card, the CR-V, and the student loans all gone by the end of the year.
• I’m on the hunt for educational opportunities that are more like certificates (I’ve done a few already for work) that I can get my boss to pay for. I like school, I don’t like the price tag.
• I’d like to take ONE big trip this year, just one. There are a few possibilities being tossed around.
• I’m planning to use every last bit of craft stuff I have on hand before buying anything new. (hence the yarn inventory)
• I will turn 44, not that this is really terribly significant, but hey, why not include it?
• And, last but certainly not least, I really want to make some healthier habits. This would include eating, exercising, and mental health stuff.

I’ll leave you with this image. It’s speaking to me today, maybe it will speak to you, too.

quick update

I am not yet dead, nor do I plan to be any time soon. I’ve just been busy. In my defense I’ve finished damn near everything I had on my “winter holiday to do” list, including taking an inventory of my entire yarn stash.

Yes, the Entire Stash. Don’t look at me like that. If Lancelot thinks he needs to stage an intervention I want to make sure it’s truly justified. And let me tell you, it 100% is NOT. I have fewer than 100 skeins of yarn and many of them are partials.

But I digress. I will hold to the plan of not buying any more yarn in the new year unless I somehow manage to knit and/or crochet all of what I have on hand before December 31, 2020.

I plan to put together a bit of a “Year is Retrospect” kind of post but today is not that day. Let me distract you with a few choice photos instead.

L and I on Christmas Eve. He’s quite the silly boy, but he’s my silly boy and I love him. He got me some truly gorgeous necklaces this year.

The fuzzballs love to play. Except Eric. Eric is like the grumpy old man of the group.

Garth is ridiculously adorable. He got up on top of the microwave the other morning and was just being cute. I managed to catch him with his little tongue hanging out.

christmas is the time to say i love you

I can’t remember what song that’s from, but it’s catchy.

So I’ve been busy, which is a lame ass excuse but it is what it is. I’ve been trying to get stuff lined up for the holidays, drain my health care spending account, visit ALL the doctors, and not go bat-crap crazy.

So far, so good.

Lancelot got tickets for us to see Jesus Christ Superstar last weekend. It was amazing. We had seats on the main floor just off to the side so our view was phenomenal.

Garth and Pippy have been playing a lot lately. I snapped this the other morning when they were pretending to be good. I finished a sweater for Pippy last night, I’ll have to get a picture of it on her. The pattern was more like a recipe, which was fine, and it was crocheted with two strands of worsted weight Red Heart using a size N hook. It worked up FAST.

I also, sometime since last we spoke, did go through and get all of my yarn collected. I didn’t do the inventory yet but it’s at least in one place and I have an idea of what’s there.

We need a damn intervention.

But that’s fine, I no longer have disposable income. My student loans have to be paid on again, among other things, so I really need to focus on using up what I have on hand. That shouldn’t be too hard.

My last day of work (official work) is this Friday. The university shuts down starting Saturday and we won’t come back until January 2nd. I will likely come in at some point to take down my holiday decorations and take a few bits and pieces home. The rumor about us moving (AGAIN) are true. I want to do a bit of a purge here while I’ve got peace and quiet to do it.

productive at last, thank ceiling cat almighty, i was productive at last!

That was quite the whirlwind of a long weekend for me, but in a good way. Lancelot and I got the grocery shopping done, I made a simple but yummy dinner Friday night, and then we snuggled while watching the Food Network. So romantic. ❤

On Saturday we went to my office and picked up the orchid, miniature rose, and spider plants to take back to the house. Those all have light requirements that can’t be satisfied here easily. We also were on call for puppy-sitting.

He looks miserable, doesn’t he? Pippi loves him, almost as much as I do I suspect. And he loves playing with all the critters. This was his part of helping while I was rearranging plants.

Eric is still not at all interested in playing with Pippi, but he’s getting to the point of tolerating her. Most of the time anyway. Pippi and Garth will roll around together, bite ears, and when Garth has had enough he rolls onto his back and “bunny kicks” her under the chin.

In addition to my greenhouse duties, I was able to get my laundry done, including putting fresh sheets on my bed, I made both Jell-o and pudding for lunches, and other miscellaneous stuff that I’d neglected. Honestly, I’m considering bringing L to the house with me on either Friday night or Saturday morning for a bit like this more often. He loves the critter time and I love being so productive while having him there for drive-by kisses.

My nieces came over on Sunday to hang out for a bit and I decided to try making jewelry while they were there. This was the result – four pairs of earrings, a necklace/earring set, a pendant, and a brooch made of buttons. I’m pretty pleased. Being creative, making things, is part of self-care for me. I even knit this weekend and I have to say, it felt amazing.

#truth